the best is yet to come

I was driving to a friend’s house the other night to join her family for their weekly Saturday night Pizza feast. I’m not kidding on the feast part; there were at least 8 or maybe 10 homemade from scratch with the freshest of ingredients for just as many eaters. Anyways, on this drive, the sun was setting, Audrey Assad was hosting a personal concert in my Jeep and in the distance, and I saw fireworks. Literally, which seemed to have awakened in me the realization of the joy and peace I have in my heart and soul which continued to be revealed throughout the evening as conversation rallied between various topics of history and current events. It’s refreshing to talk about work and collaborate on various views of the school system, social construct and family ties and the implications that has on today’s youth from the food that is served to the very structure that education takes on with the No Child Left Behind Act.

There was a guest who was an elderly gentleman and every time I looked at his face all I could see was the face of T. Moe, one of the residents from the Lodge. I couldn’t help but smile at him bashfully like a child with a grand secret. I looked over at my friend Melissa repeatedly through the night bright eyed and probably bordering on the cusp of shedding a longing tear for my dear residents and the fond memories I hold so close to my heart. Ask any of the kitchen staff at camp and my rants on the elderly are gold.

If you remember back, one of my resolutions was to become more organized – which means I have to take the time and put forth energy to put things away regularly and well – I can boil it down to 2 things: Urgency and Assertiveness. Urgency: be mindful of the time it takes to do something (so simple such as putting my dirty clothes in the clothes bin rather than the middle of my floor) or putting my clean clothes away right out of the dryer, putting books back on the shelf. A banker friend of mine once advised me to live by the “30 second rule” which is this: if it takes 30 seconds or less to put away DO It IMMEDIATELY!!! Which really makes sense in the long run – a bunch of 30 second items are going to add up over time to becoming 20 minutes of work or more!! (I can see my Dad throwing his hands up praising the Lord that it may have finally sunk it – but he’s also more than likely saying “I’ll believe it when I see it”) HAHA. Assertiveness: I would explain this as owning it. Being confident and utilizing the resources you have to get it done – in other words the 4 little minions roaming around the house who want to hang out in my room all the time and actually offer to help me clean. Just Kidding. I am learning to have a sense of pride in the order of my room. I have a lot of stuff – from clothes, books, office stuff, toiletries, and craft supplies shelved into a small space – but when it’s all put away – my room is actually a fun place to hang out in with the munchkins or by myself, and there is room to breathe – plus it’s not on the never ending To Do List like working out and doing the dishes and laundry.

I am taking small steps toward self-improvement, plus, I’m finding that with all the stress of not knowing where the thumbtacks on my floor are or completing a goliath leap from hallway to bed gone I have more creative flow to put towards a gorgeous blank canvas. FREEDOM and I have a hunch the best is yet to come!

It’s been reaching record highs here lately – I think we are going into our second straight week of temperatures in the mid to high 40s. People in Homer, AK are actually mowing their lawns, the bears are rousing from their slumber, the river is breaking up and well – it’s still only January. I am a little mad about it, but it’s nice not having to wear my coat :P

So far I have only slipped and fallen 3 times (2 of them should be illegitimate but I will let you decide for yourself) The first I was walking up the 4 steps to my office with coffee cup in hand – I caught my toe and down I went. The second, I had taken my clients ice skating and didn’t fall once!! That was a proud day for me (for quite a few reasons). Anyways, I had to deliver a kiddo to a sandwich shop and upon taking 3 steps into the dining room of this fine establishment (which was FULL of strangers) I had successfully concluded that gravity still does exist and that cement is still very hard. Finally, and most recently, I was walking around the lake with a friend of mine and with all the melting ice, I went down. A few weeks back, I was encouraged to throw my hands up and yell “Go Team USA” when such times occur – but I forgot.

I guess that’s all for now, that I can think of anyway. Hope you are all doing well.
Many Blessings & Much Love,
Rachel

Sense of it all

I got a text today from a friend informing me that a girl we grew up with from an early age and played softball with passed away. What's worse is that she took her own life. Stop. Don't you dare judge, saying it was selfish and whatnot. Put yourself in her shoes. What depth of pain and loneliness accompanied her? How many hopeless nights did she spend awake trying to find an awakening in her soul? How many days did she go about the mundane with the facade that everything is alright? I'm not patronizing her, I'm not making her out to be a hero or a villain...I'm just trying to make sense of it all.

I hope your soul has found the rest it was longing for.

Much Love,
Rachel

Lyrics

These words brought comfort and healing this weekend over strife at work this week....read through them, youtube the song, dance and let is all go. Much Love, Rachel

Live Like A Warrior by MATISYAHU

Feel like the world don't love you
They only want to push you away
Some days people don't see you
You feel like you're in the way
Today you feel, as if everyone hates
Pointing their fingers, looking at your mistakes
You do good, they want great
No matter what you give they still want to take
Give your love and they throw it back
You give your heart they go on attack
When there's nothing left for you,
Only thing that you can do, say

Today, today, live like you wanna,
Let yesterday burn and throw it in a fire, in a fire, in a fire,
Fight like a Warrior,

Today, today, live like you wanna,
Let yesterday burn and throw it in a fire, in a fire, in a fire,
Live like a Warrior

Some things you should let go, they're only gonna pull you down,
Just like weight on your shoulder they are only gonna make you drown
We all swing high, we all swing low,
We all got secrets people don't know
We all got dreams we can't let go,
We want to brave, Don't be afraid
Ohh

Today, today, live like you wanna,
Let yesterday burn and throw it in a fire, in a fire, in a fire,
Fight like a Warrior,

Today, today, live like you wanna,
Let yesterday burn and throw it in a fire, in a fire, in a fire,
Live like a Warrior

Your heart is too heavy from things you carry a long time,
You been up you been down, tired and you don't know why,
But you're never gonna go back, you only live one life
Let go, let go, let goooooo, Let go, let go, let goooooo,

Today, today, live like you wanna,
Let yesterday burn and throw it in a fire, in a fire, in a fire,
Fight like a Warrior,

Today, today, live like you wanna,
Let yesterday burn and throw it in a fire, in a fire, in a fire,
Live like a Warrior

Today, today, live like you wanna,
Let yesterday burn and throw it in a fire, in a fire, in a fire,
Fight like a Warrior,

Today, today, live like you wanna,
Let yesterday burn and throw it in a fire, in a fire, in a fire,
Live like a Warrior

January: a new beginning

We have made it to 2014! Remember when 2000 was the verge of the World's doom? Haha. In a way it is I suppose, as I look around there is a loss of wonder and adventure in youths these days.  Last night at the stroke of midnight there was a gathering of folk to toss around a tennis ball soaked with lighter fluid and lit.   The children that were around took more interest in playing on an iPad than with fire.

I fear that as time continues, this sickening dependence on electronics will further separate people from unity and harmony. Sitting in a room with friends begins to become uncomfortable without the screen to hide behind as a blanket gives security to an infant. Am I alone in this? Am I blowing smoke into the wind for seeing this in my own life. That as I type this on my phone, my friend is putting together an appliance and I have yet to offer my assistance.

So with the new year, comes new ambitions. A fresh start. A new beginning.
I want to be in the moment and present amongst family and friends and even strangers. I want to be less dependent on my smart phone for keeping me company and amused.

To do this? Burn the phone! Drown it in the river! Maybe that day will come, but for now I can get rid of the social applications, despite the numerous petty reasons to keep them. I can learn to shut off my phone, pick up a book, my paint brushes, my needles and yarn....go for a walk or run.  Learn to enjoy the silence and solitude and embrace it rather than avoid it.

I don't want to be a zombie or raise little zombies when I have that opportunity come. I want to be a physically and socially active woman and mom teaching my kids the art of making forts inside/outside and play make believe and limit the garbage of social media.

Time to implement those changes.
Much Love, Rachel