Proclamation

I will take advantage of every sunny day after I get off work to soak up that Vit D and enjoy warmish sunny weather before the Mosquitoes suck out all the potential for enjoying such weather.

sincerely,
Rachel K. Rehbein




P.S. Much Love!!

Backpacking in the Backcountry

"Rachel, you seem like you are an outdoor kind of girl." - Laura remarked.

"well, I am but I just didn't have many opportunities to do this kind of stuff

I came to realize how much my heart doesn't match my head for a lot of things in life. A prime example would be the backpacking trip I took over the weekend. There was a Facebook chat open with us 4 adventurers, talking about who is bringing what and they (notice I didn't say "we") were listing things off: "I've got dinner" "breakfast and cooking equipment" "I'm bringing cookies and cards and TP" I said, "I'm so glad you all have it figured out" at this point I wasn't sure what I had gotten myself into. Hiking, with a backpack on a bad foot?

oh yea, my foot. Let's back up to the beginning of the week. I went running Sunday and Monday with the hopes of getting semi in shape for the Beat Beethoven 5k in a few weeks in Fairbanks but during which I somehow did something to injure myself (and everyone shakes their head in pitiful sorrow and shame for my incredible ability to inflict accidental self harm.) Anyways, the pain in quite intense that walking has been made difficult for a week now. Yes, I went to the Dr. and what a waste of time and money!! No suggestions of care except - "don't run. and when you do run, take it easy." My flippant response, "No Shhhhht Sherlock."

Now let's flash forward to Friday, at work hobbling around, slightly stressing because, during my lunch break I go to the store for "lunch" but also to pick up sunglasses,water bottle, and protein bars. I get off the clock at 3:30, have a 10 minute drive home which along the way, I have to make a stop at the bestie's house to get her gear so that I have gear to go on this trip. I get packed and start thinking, "hmmmm, am I going to be warm enough? what exactly should I be taking? I feel like I wont be sharing the load with the others as I'm not bringing anything to share for the good of the group." Laura comes. She, Steph and I pile in my recently "cleaned" car. ahem* yes, so we pick up Val and are on our way. An hour later and we are at the parking lot strapping up and getting ready to go.

*snap* group selfie!! :) in order L to R: This writer, Laura, Steph and Val

And we were off, 4 miles to go! I used Nike+ on my phone to track our progress and instantly we were accompanied by Faure Op. 16. (I disagree that this piece is appropriate for running to, however, a lovely walk in the woods added to the ambiance.)

The trail was flat and hidden with snow and ice, so the ice cleats came in handy, especially when they were worn correctly. We came to a split in the Trail: summer or winter. Let's go winter! Straight through a swamp, marshland the perfect dwelling for Moose. The end of the trail was a lake. Frozen aside from where the river was running into it. The debate started, do we turn back or cross? On we went, crossing the lake with a "wabump" sound in the distance. It was a little eerie but it was the ice forming and shifting. Laura booked it across, leaving us behind. We shouted for her to have the fire going and dinner ready but that went unheard.

We made it to Barber cabin, 4 miles in 2 hours. Time to unload, eat and get warm. We were in bed by 10pm trying to get warm. I fell asleep first. Predictable. Breakfast soon came as did the realization of how sore we would all be for the rest of the weekend. We said farewell to the cozy cabin and started the hike out which we encountered the remains of an avalanche covering the trail.

At last we found ourselves back at the Jeep and all too excited to be sitting for the next hour on the drive back home.

Sightings:
Bears: None
Moose: None
Other Wildlife: None
People: Enough

The next trip sounds like it could be a sea kayak trip across the cove in Homer, AK. :)

So why doesn't my head match my heart? Because, my heart loves and longs for the outdoors and these adventures but my head has no knowledge of how to pack, or what gear is needed. I only own cotton, and tennis shoes.

But anyways, This chick is signing off to take a snooze before the work week begins again.
Much Love,
Rachel

Cravings

And not of the food variety; but for life. For experience.

I found myself in a bookstore today in downtown Bozeman scanning the shelves for anything, nothing in particular. Only a few things stood out amongst the masses. I'm a self declared book whore which I take to mean I collect them, regardless of age, binding, cover, if their pages hold a story in type or if they lay in wait for nonsensical thoughts to be penned down, I want it.  This entry too got its beginning as chicken scratch in a blank note book comprised of compressed trees.

I at any given time have a stack of books long awaiting their time to be turned over, exposing their own brilliance and beauty in the magnitude of secrecy, truth and adventure they hold.

So why don't I read more??

Because I crave experiences not just of reading but writing and creating something with paint or yarn, of exploring the wild through hiking and fishing. And I crave human interaction. Spending time with others, sharing laughter and tears and fits of rage through stories and rants and questions.

And finding a balance for all of this is a massive struggle which I'm searching for ways to enjoy and partake in each without overly neglecting the next.

Your suggestions are most welcome.
Much Love,
Rach

Analogies try 2 (the first wouldn't post)

I know I have mentioned in previous posts about flow. I was struck by it again last week but it wasn't my typical creative artistic flow and desire to pick up my brushes to lay out a outdoor scene. It came in two forms: first was through drawing, abstract (for me anyways) using color as a means to further extract meaning and depth of understanding that the paper was saturated with. Has your coocoo alarm sounded yet? Mine did, but I guess each has the responsibility to credit or dismiss such inspiration on their own accord. I read into it enough to gain truths about myself that were somewhat known to me and familiar, just seeing them illustrated was a little bizarre.

The second was during an early morning routine at work where I casually grab a Rubik cube and manipulate it, twisting and turning it trying to put it right again. This perplexing moment, a bitterly sour question arose in my stomach: can a Rubik's cube ever be made whole again? This question and this Rubik cube went deeper than just a child's toy, for me it began to appear as a reflection of the lives of those I work with, children, who many have been exposed to neglect and abuse.  I probed my coworker and this was our conversation:

Can a Rubik cube ever be made whole again?

B - I don't think so....a Rubik's cube is a metaphor for life... if you manhandle it enough to the point it breaks.... it will never be whole again.

And while it isn't broken, it still twists and turns and morphs and changes with the influence of those around it - but isn't whole or perfect.

B - exactly. Some people are able to get to the Rubik's secrets with ease, while others struggle... unable to ever figure it out... at times people treat the cube with such frustration that they vow never to try and solve it's problem while others swear not to until they finish the task.

I understand that some of my friends and family and other readers many think I'm delusional or in the wrong line of work for being a firm believer in Biblical truth yet being fully submerged into a world of psychology. Yes, I get it. Those two worlds don't mesh, they repel the other. But this is my position. According to Luke 5, Jesus states: “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance.”

Yes, I'm not outwardly allowed to proclaim Christ, unless initiated by a client. Yes, if given the opportunity to (which has occurred) I will take it. Yes, I will gladly risk being written up and fired for proclaiming my faith in Christ. And finally, yes, I do believe that my clients are able to see the love of Christ in me and through me. There is a quote that says: people will forget the words you have said, but they will never forget they way you made them feel.

These kids need love and consistency and healthy/appropriate boundaries. And if I can find abstract ways to teach and show them these things while prayerfully offering my time and interactions with these kiddos to the Lord - then you better believe I will bust my butt for these kids.

Much Love,
Rachel

Home Sweet Home

Montana will always hold a sentimental homey feeling, regardless of where I spend my final days. (This isn't my eulogy, I swear).

Bozeman will hold the memories of hiking and laughter and many graduations. Bozeman will be where this childish girl began to grow into a woman, where dreams where dreamed and platforms to launch those dreams were created.

Missoula will always be home to the wrong school, regardless of their winning record (sorry, Dad). It will be the land of Hoagieville and cheese fries and root beer spins. Where people surf the river and hippies dance the streets. Cant forget Madison River Brewing Co.

The Flathead (Kalispell and Whitefish) will be full of regrets of not cherishing my grandparents until I was no longer a child.  It has been within the last 5 trips that I have come to appreciate and look forward to seeing Grandma and Granddad and my Gramps. And "oh my gosh" this of course includes my crazy aunts (crazy because they are chalk full of life and spunk).

Helena is land of the uncles and aunts and cousins.

I have spent the last week and a half visiting with family and friends, young and old. Reminiscing the laundry list of "remember when.." Making new memories, like sitting in Perkins playing games, getting scolded by my grandma for forgetting the beer and shopping with mom till my legs couldn't take another step.

Montana isn't my "old" home, it is home. These memories, these people, these places are home. So until I see you again, I carry you in my heart.

Much Love,
Rachel

Making Connections

I have flown enough to know the dynamics of uncomfortably sitting centimeters away from another person, if you are lucky enough to get the window or aisle seat otherwise you are sandwiched. Your options; engage in conversation with this stranger or plug in the tunes, fall asleep or pretend you can't hear or speak English. I tend for the latter. Give me my tunes, my beats, and my zzz's. But today was different, I engaged and from it came stories and laughter and a connection with another human being. We laughed until the other snorted, we shared experiences and knowledge and trivial things, there was empathy and encouragement and praise and education. There was a sense of vulnerability in it for me, as I tend to keep people at a safe distance, especially strangers. Today was good though, it was growth. It was me being socially assertive (in part due to lack of sleep.) It was revealed to me a sense of insecurity I have in myself as the gentleman pointed out I covered my face in my hands or shirt every time I laughed and smiled. He pointed it out with a gentle concern.

I'm appreciative of this time.

On another note!! I'm in the snowy 406!!! And its about 45 to 50 degrees colder here than it is in Alaska. And here I was thinking it was "spring break" well played Montana, well played.

So freaking excited to see and hang out with my friends and family!!!!

Much Love!
Rach