Most nights I am able to fall asleep fairly quickly and allow my subconscious to rule the night with thoughts that allow only minimal rest. Then there are nights like tonight where my mind is consciously writhing in deep thought, searching for answers and truth about something that happened last week.
A friend of mine, Joanna and I are reading through 1 Kings and we discussed the first 3 chapters. In chapter 3 God allows King Solomon to ask for whatever he wants. God literally comes to him in a dream and says, "Ask what I can give you." (1 Kings 3:5 ESV). Solomon, who was new to being King, asked for wisdom to discern between good and evil to govern the people.
This is what I was pondering this night, when I was hoping to be sleeping. I was considering, the daily life application of Solomon's request. The heart attitude of Solomon, who had a substantial authority over a large sum of people asked how to be a good leader. He didn't ask for riches or fame or _________________. So then, I asked myself, if given the opportunity to ask for anything, with the guarantee that I would get it, what would I ask for? Would I have the same heart attitude as Solomon or would I be self seeking. I was then reminded of an incident that happened at camp this summer, where 2 girls were both wanting sweatshirts but both were short of funds. One was a few dollars short and stated she would be willing to work around camp to pay off the difference where as the other girl who was more than half short, wasn't. Heart Attitude. Which spun me into my outlook at my current position as a housekeeper at an Assisted Living facility. It's not a glamorous job by any means. I bust my butt, making beds, laundering sheets, vacuuming, dusting, scrubbing toilets, moping floors - the works. It would be easy for me to check out, mentally. Pop in my headphones and crank out my work and be done with it...OR...I could be open to receiving life lessons. What it means to be a servant. What it means to have a servant's heart.
Then I started broadening my scope. What areas of life when there are choices to make am I selfishly thinking of me first and not others? Or more importantly without a mindfulness of God? Sadly, this reality is most of the time, even in the little things.
Much Love,
Rachel
On a side note, this passage of Scripture points to how God is a relational God. He cares for us and allows us to make choices. (Finish reading Chapter 3 of 1 Kings)
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
Tuesday, October 7, 2014
collections
For most of you, you know that Organization is something that I struggle with to the depths of my core.
I could use help! I have papers from high school that I have held onto for who knows what reason. I have text books that I keep for "just in case". I have piles of books that I have wanted to read since high school and magazines that I looked through only once or twice. Don't get me started on the knickknacks of dried flowers, music boxes, and other trinkets. I find myself making ground in one area to only discover a domineering pile standing behind me. I'm trying to be thorough since a lot of this stuff hasn't been touched in the last year much less thought about. In which case, it's time for it to go.
How did I get this way? How did I get to be such a collector of junk. I mean really, I have receipts from my trip to Costa Rica in 2011 which at the time, I was like, "OMG I'm going to scrapbook these and keep them forever...because that one time when I bought __(fill in the item here)__." But now, I am wondering what the point of it was, because the pictures and the memories of actually doing things are so much better than a receipt typed in Spanish. <- maybe this is one of my quirks of sentiment. God help the man that wants to marry me!
I have had this idea of getting a binder to organize my monthly expenses in a really cool fashion with calendars in a Type A fashion and it's been a year since my attempt and desire for that was lit......
I have no methods of being organized which means I have no skills to remain organized once I obtain a level of order in this current state of chaos. So what I say I could use help, this is me, begging in desperation for tips, suggestions, motivation.
Much Love,
Rachel
I could use help! I have papers from high school that I have held onto for who knows what reason. I have text books that I keep for "just in case". I have piles of books that I have wanted to read since high school and magazines that I looked through only once or twice. Don't get me started on the knickknacks of dried flowers, music boxes, and other trinkets. I find myself making ground in one area to only discover a domineering pile standing behind me. I'm trying to be thorough since a lot of this stuff hasn't been touched in the last year much less thought about. In which case, it's time for it to go.
How did I get this way? How did I get to be such a collector of junk. I mean really, I have receipts from my trip to Costa Rica in 2011 which at the time, I was like, "OMG I'm going to scrapbook these and keep them forever...because that one time when I bought __(fill in the item here)__." But now, I am wondering what the point of it was, because the pictures and the memories of actually doing things are so much better than a receipt typed in Spanish. <- maybe this is one of my quirks of sentiment. God help the man that wants to marry me!
I have had this idea of getting a binder to organize my monthly expenses in a really cool fashion with calendars in a Type A fashion and it's been a year since my attempt and desire for that was lit......
I have no methods of being organized which means I have no skills to remain organized once I obtain a level of order in this current state of chaos. So what I say I could use help, this is me, begging in desperation for tips, suggestions, motivation.
Much Love,
Rachel
Monday, October 6, 2014
testing
Hey guys, I'm here at AT&T looking at a tablet promotion. Not sure what to think about it. Thoughts?
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
Lessons Learned
I can hardly believe it's been a month since I've left Alaska, by now I'm sure the summer sun is setting by 8 or 9, robbing it's followers of their dance. I know I feel robbed without the multitude of daylight in my favor, but I press on. (Good grief, the drama in this post!! haha) For the last week and a half I have been with my grandparents, helping out around the house, and assisting in their care. It's been eye opening for me as my granddad has dementia and the reality of his struggle to hold onto information in a conversation hit me harder than expected. I blindly went into these two weeks thinking I was seasoned, as I had worked with Seniors (many of whom struggled with memory loss.) But the impact of not being remembered or of constantly having to answer for not finding an Eskimo in Alaska to marry or bring home was wearisome. I'm thankful for the time with him, though, especially breakfast,or brunch because we rarely ate before 10:30/11. He was in true form of his character, pushing the oranges on me because "they're good for what ails you" and reminding me that if I were to walk away from the table hungry that it was my fault and if there were leftovers they would be served for the next meal. :)
I have found time to slip away and venture out and figure out what this little town called Kalispell has to offer and so far - a quaint little coffee shop called Colter Coffee, it's pretty hipster but it's got the best cup of coffee I've had since my last cup of Kaladi's and the staff here are wonderful. I also searched high and low for yarn shops and have found two!! the projects are piling up, luckily, I have the time and the energy to stay busy. In Whitefish, I channeled my inner child, bought a loaf of bread and headed to the docks on the river where my brothers and I would go with my Grampa to feed the ducks. :)
The logistics of work and life are summed up as follows. Jobs applied for: 4 Apartments applied for: 1 the search continues, the hunt is strong.
This isn't how this post was supposed to flow so let's get down to it.
With the abundance of down time I have, mostly spent by myself, I have had a lot of time to reflect on this chapter in life. Reflect on where I've come, what brought me here and where I want to go. Through this time memories have flooded my soul of heart conversations with some of the most influential people in my life thus far. These lessons, at the time weren't directed at me, but I was attentive and present all the same. These lessons spoke to relationships, to life's focus and the driving forces that I let guide my direction. These lessons are things that I know have to apply. I feel like for so long, I have stood on the coattails of others, making sure that my actions met the expectations of my friends, my family, my employer regardless of my inner agreement to them - because keeping a smile on my face and keeping the peace is easier than to wade through the muck and bullsh*t. Prime example. I was asked "How are you?" I out of practice said, "I'm good." My simple robotic response was flagged with a follow up of "really?" answering honestly, "actually no. I'm really tired, it's been a hard week." The "I'm good" is a front, to refrain exposing myself - it has been for years. Another conversation that has recently been brought to my memory was one in 2011 that I finally understand, I was asked if my relationship with my best friend is a good one FOR me. Is the relationship healthy, is it producing fruit in my life that are good or is there poison. I still believe and forever will that yes, it is. But I have since applied that question to the other relationships in my life, I have my pruner in hand and am ready to purge my life of those rotten relationships. My focus is on the cross. Today I was reading from Romans 6. Romans 6:16 spoke loudly to my soul "Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness." then in verse 21, "But what fruit were you getting at that time from the things of which you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death. But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life."
So I challenge you, whoever you may be. Test the fruit in your life; is it good to eat nourishing and enriching you or is it rotten and by entertaining it are poisoning yourself?
Much Love,
Rach
I have found time to slip away and venture out and figure out what this little town called Kalispell has to offer and so far - a quaint little coffee shop called Colter Coffee, it's pretty hipster but it's got the best cup of coffee I've had since my last cup of Kaladi's and the staff here are wonderful. I also searched high and low for yarn shops and have found two!! the projects are piling up, luckily, I have the time and the energy to stay busy. In Whitefish, I channeled my inner child, bought a loaf of bread and headed to the docks on the river where my brothers and I would go with my Grampa to feed the ducks. :)
The logistics of work and life are summed up as follows. Jobs applied for: 4 Apartments applied for: 1 the search continues, the hunt is strong.
This isn't how this post was supposed to flow so let's get down to it.
With the abundance of down time I have, mostly spent by myself, I have had a lot of time to reflect on this chapter in life. Reflect on where I've come, what brought me here and where I want to go. Through this time memories have flooded my soul of heart conversations with some of the most influential people in my life thus far. These lessons, at the time weren't directed at me, but I was attentive and present all the same. These lessons spoke to relationships, to life's focus and the driving forces that I let guide my direction. These lessons are things that I know have to apply. I feel like for so long, I have stood on the coattails of others, making sure that my actions met the expectations of my friends, my family, my employer regardless of my inner agreement to them - because keeping a smile on my face and keeping the peace is easier than to wade through the muck and bullsh*t. Prime example. I was asked "How are you?" I out of practice said, "I'm good." My simple robotic response was flagged with a follow up of "really?" answering honestly, "actually no. I'm really tired, it's been a hard week." The "I'm good" is a front, to refrain exposing myself - it has been for years. Another conversation that has recently been brought to my memory was one in 2011 that I finally understand, I was asked if my relationship with my best friend is a good one FOR me. Is the relationship healthy, is it producing fruit in my life that are good or is there poison. I still believe and forever will that yes, it is. But I have since applied that question to the other relationships in my life, I have my pruner in hand and am ready to purge my life of those rotten relationships. My focus is on the cross. Today I was reading from Romans 6. Romans 6:16 spoke loudly to my soul "Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness." then in verse 21, "But what fruit were you getting at that time from the things of which you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death. But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life."
So I challenge you, whoever you may be. Test the fruit in your life; is it good to eat nourishing and enriching you or is it rotten and by entertaining it are poisoning yourself?
Much Love,
Rach
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
Fall Upon Us
I have made it back to the lower 48, back to Montana, and for the time being - back to Bozeman. I left Alaska on the 18th of August and after 50 hours of driving, my friends and I arrived in Washington. My bestie and I spent the next 4 days in Portland, OR hanging out with a dear friend from our growing up days. We went to the zoo, played at my most favorite place on the planet: the beach and had other ridiculous adventures.
I have been in Bozeman for a week and have drawn these conclusions. 1. hiking with out the fear of bear is wonderful. 2. it's too hot here, i'm increasingly ready for fall temps. 3. Bozeman no longer holds that "home" feeling but rather feelings of being stuck.
Quick Hits about my current ways of spending the time:
I am in the midst of searching for employment and housing in Missoula.
I am teaching myself to play guitar.
I still want a therapy dog.
Finding a decent cup of coffee around here is the most difficult challenge. (KBC - I miss you and your Kaladi Americano)
EVERYTHING IS CHEAP!!
Facebook and Pinterest absorb my time and energy as I continue to refuse turning on the TV.
For all of you that know about my longstanding cough. I finally went to the Dr. and was prescribed an antibiotic for a Bacterial infection in my lungs. Once I started that script, I was attached by what seemed to be a sinus and ear infection, but as I continue with the meds, all the symptoms seem to be going down as well. I cough less frequently (but still violently) and the ear pain and the throat pain and the stuffiness are subsiding.
My goals are still very much to first find a solid church. second join a bible study and third find someone to disciple me. I am looking forward to this coming Sunday and returning to the church I have attended for over a year (previous to my adventures in Alaska)
Well, despite having my resume updated, I still have to apply for a few jobs and look for apartments.
Much Love,
Rach
I have been in Bozeman for a week and have drawn these conclusions. 1. hiking with out the fear of bear is wonderful. 2. it's too hot here, i'm increasingly ready for fall temps. 3. Bozeman no longer holds that "home" feeling but rather feelings of being stuck.
Quick Hits about my current ways of spending the time:
I am in the midst of searching for employment and housing in Missoula.
I am teaching myself to play guitar.
I still want a therapy dog.
Finding a decent cup of coffee around here is the most difficult challenge. (KBC - I miss you and your Kaladi Americano)
EVERYTHING IS CHEAP!!
Facebook and Pinterest absorb my time and energy as I continue to refuse turning on the TV.
For all of you that know about my longstanding cough. I finally went to the Dr. and was prescribed an antibiotic for a Bacterial infection in my lungs. Once I started that script, I was attached by what seemed to be a sinus and ear infection, but as I continue with the meds, all the symptoms seem to be going down as well. I cough less frequently (but still violently) and the ear pain and the throat pain and the stuffiness are subsiding.
My goals are still very much to first find a solid church. second join a bible study and third find someone to disciple me. I am looking forward to this coming Sunday and returning to the church I have attended for over a year (previous to my adventures in Alaska)
Well, despite having my resume updated, I still have to apply for a few jobs and look for apartments.
Much Love,
Rach
Saturday, June 14, 2014
Week 1
First week of camp completed!! It was a primary camp where the kids were 7 and 8 years old. I had 8 out of 32 campers. We slept in a covered wagon and it rained for most of the time, but you all know that I don't mind that much. I wasn't partial to being cold though.
I'm some kind of tired though being up by 645 and not going to be until midnight or so. This makes Saturday's a joy when I can be in bed by 8 or 9. (although it's 9pm now and I'm not in bed)
This week drew parallels between working for PCHS and Camp with the major outlier being the subject of Jesus Christ. It's wonderful being able to share the good news without getting a snide comment or look and not feeling the fear of being caught. I thought to myself, this is an environment I enjoy.
Anyways, this is a short and sweet update.
Much Love,
Rach
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Summer 2014
Oh wow!! It's June....but mid June. And there are so many changes.
I'll start at the beginning. Chad (my Alaska Dad) sat me down and called me out on my crap. If you don't have someone in your life who does this - find one, if you have someone - keep them. The brutal honesty and insight Chad has comes in the most loving way, he asks questions that cause me to reflect and give an account for my thought processes and actions and he then lines it up biblically and points out the inconsistencies and encourages change. These sessions are brutal because I can't get away with being a mere listener.
So there I was perched on the couch, wanting to avoid the conversation to escape the vulnerability and accountability but I also was excited for it because I knew that I needed it.
The result: I came to the acceptance that I haven't been living my life in a fashion that is mindful of God and that due to that, I was "chasing after the wind" looking for satisfaction and fulfillment and identity in things that aren't that important.
That next day: I did something radical.
I quit my job. I put my two weeks in and decided to put off my own selfish desires to work again at Solid Rock Bible Camp. I am here to grow. I am here to serve. Quitting my job was easy. The deciding to commit to camp was difficult. I could have had a fun summer, playing softball, fishing, babysitting and just generally hanging out. But I have committed to something greater. I have committed the next nine weeks to getting to know God. To telling kids about his love.
I am in the midst of training to be a lifeguard. I haven't had a strong desire to be a lifeguard ever but the opportunity arose and it was asked of me by several people for several reasons to consider it. I, being a helper, and one who likes a challenge went for it. It has been a humbling experience. I was a distressed swimmer potential active drownder as a child which I believe has lead to a mental block of diving to the bottom of the deep end.... I also made a connection of this to my not liking my face under the faucet in the shower. Anyways, I struggled and fought with my self worth. I was pissed that out of 9, I was the only one who couldn't get it. So I got out of the pool, punched a wall, took a deep breath and accepted it. I then got a 10# brick and started sinking myself in the shallow water to acclimate myself...its getting easier. However I am going for a "shallow water lifeguard" certification. Don't laugh, it sounds lame but I could save your life sometime....
Today was the staff swim test. It includes swamping a canoe and swimming across the deep end of the swimming area. However, for the lifeguard trainees, we had to do a line search. Starting elbow to elbow we dove straight down and searched the murky bottom with our hands and eyes. The actual process is complex. It's given me a sense of accomplishment and strength and great responsibility. It's not official yet as I still have CPR and First Aid as well as the exam. I'm part of a team though, the 9 of us are a crew.
Anyways, camp officially starts tomorrow afternoon and I'm looking forward to it. Feel free to send me a letter at:
36251 Solid Rock Rd #1
Soldotna, AK 99669
Here's to summer 2014!
Much Love!!
Rach
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)