Peace

My thoughts are racing, colliding and ricocheting around. I fumble for words to exit my mouth in fluid, understandable flow. Nothing. I might as well be mute. Water fills my eyes brimming. Release.

If I post this, my parents will call and text beckoning for peace of mind over my well-being and not rest until they are assured. So to them, keep reading.

I realized today, again that my job isn't easy. That the goal is a grueling up hill climb and victory may not be seen in my time with these kiddos. I cannot carry them or drag them along. I can't walk ahead and wait for them to catch up and most often they won't be waiting for me to catch up to them. Rather, we trudge side by side, hand in hand, finding our footing every day...sometimes every hour or minute of everyday. Always prepared for backslide.

I'm thankful though.

I'm thankful for my job. It challenges me to go out of my comfort zone, to push myself to persevere despite the battle, to find the small victories in the day (like today, I actually had a professional sounding conversation on the phone where I was confident).  

I'm not really sure how to end this. My first paragraph is the condition of my heart this evening but I'm happy and content at the very same time, I suppose this is called peace.

Much Love,
Rachel