Resolutions

res·o·lu·tion (rz-lshn)
n.
1. The state or quality of being resolute; firm determination.
2. A resolving to do something.
3. A course of action determined or decided on. *Definition copied from thefreedictionary.com


Every year people conjure up a list of a few things to many many things that they want to change or do in the coming year. I would believe most include a desire to eat healthier and to exercise more with the ultimate goal to lose weight. Keep the house clean, I imagine frequently makes the list as does travel more, read more, etc. etc. At least, these have all been on my list in the years past. - they still are but I need a plan going into them, to hold me accountable.

But anyways, here is my list - ordered as they have come to mind.

2014 New Year's Resolutions

-finish a tube of chapstick (I lose them so fast)
-complete a 5k in under 25min
-take the time to be more organized
-read 1 book a month
-learn to control water color
-fully enjoy doing things by myself and for myself
-do a hand stand
-gain physical flexibility



Have you started thinking about yours?

Much Love,
Rachel

Christmas Letter.

To my beloved friends and family,

I have decided to do my annual Christmas letter on my blog this year - while it may seem less than personal, I apologize. What a year! I can't even believe 2014 is ebbing closer and closer, it's not creeping it's sprinting towards us - are you ready?! I am but let's recap the highlights of 2013 just for kicks and giggles.

I guess the biggest changes in my life this year were moving to Alaska (Soldotna) in June, which the beginning months of the year were spent praying and planning this move. This has been one of the best decisions I have made as an adult. I found my dream job, unexpectedly. I remember having a conversation with my dad after being interviewed rather convinced that I was going to turn down this position out of fear of not being able to cope and handle the cases I oversee, it was "too professional" and "I didn't have the experience or qualifications" but behold! it's everything I have wanted: working with children and families who are at risk of neglect and abuse in the school setting. I was able to mark off my bucket list: Catch a fish!!! a rather large milestone is that December 5th marked 6 months of living in Alaska, and I couldn't be happier!! It's actually gone so fast.

More recent new is that it's cold here in Alaska but gorgeous. I find myself wishing for the extreme negative temperatures as those are the clearest of days with a blue sky and best time to view the mountains (of course to enjoy this, one must wait until 10:30 for the sun to appear.) The dark doesn't bother me too much, I wake up most days around 5:30 to be to work by 7:30am which this always involves a stop at the coffee shop - for my choice of beverage.

This weekend, if the weather cooperates will involve me, coffee, and my camera. Selfies may occur - Moose mug shots may as well. I know. I know. I have promised pictures for the last few posts but seriously guys. I want/need to take pictures of the view here and what winter in Alaska is really like!

From my winter wonderland to yours,
Much Love,
Rachel

P.S. I hear I will be bringing in the New Year with a game of Fire Ball :D

15 things: random tidbits of my life

You know you're from Montana when you see color combos of silver and maroon or blue and gold and automatically think UM and MSU.

I try to live by the rule: "don't knock it till you try it" particularly in regards to food.

You know basketball runs thick in your blood when a p.e. teacher isn't doing it right and you have to force yourself to not step in. (But I did anyway).

The relationship between myself and stairs is a battle, up, down, walking, running, using the railing or not - I lose.

You know you're from Montana when you think "I can handle an Alaskan winter in the bare minimums" all the while having winter gear in the car for safety and just in case. (I caved on this one).

Elementary schools were not built with adults in mind - in any fashion. Case in point: the door handles at any entrance hits me at my knee or just above.

I dread the morning I spill my coffee from slipping on the ice in the 5 feet it takes to walk from the coffee shop to my Jeep. (This is a ticking time bomb)

I live in a town where people are shocked that at the age of 24 I have not been married at least once, nor have I had children.

While I complain about the cold and winter driving, every time it snows...the excitement of snow floating from the sky is undeniable like the butterflies of a first date.

Every time I try to leave my bank I never open the door right, even though I coach myself from the car to the teller about the door and also seemingly forget to read the sign on the door instructing me to "push".

I pick my wine based on the uniqueness of the label.

Americano with coconut is like a Hawaiian sunrise every morning, my favorite. Try it!

Alaskans stop at the sight of a caribou heard like tourists in Yellowstone.

November 2013 will forever be the only month I completed No Shave November.... I let my armpits be unkempt. It was gross.

Pringles MUST be consumed in stacks of no less than 5 at a time in one bite or mouthful. The pickle flavor is also delicious.

Day by day, I don't see much change in who I am, however, I am not the same person I was 6 months ago. I like that.

Check It: Reality

I was facilitating a group last week regarding the topic of Aretha Franklin's ever popular song R.E.S.P.E.C.T.  and was quite frustrated by the end of it all. No sign of active listening skills (you know: quiet mouth, eyes on the speaker, listening ears). A few days later in the flow of natural conversation I was reminded that not everyone is raised with the standards and expectations my parents instilled in my brothers and I. Some kids are handed the disservice of not being taught kindness, how to share and get along with others and other social skills that I certainly take as common knowledge and for granted as if we are all born with them. So how can I hold such a high standard for my kiddos if they don't have a foundation from which those standards are built? One step forward, two steps back.

Wooptidooo

The sun now sets at 4pm and rises after 9.

Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

Pictures of my first winter in Alaska!

it has finally come.

it's snowing, it's snowing, it's snowing!!!!

oh my goodness, I was just attacked by a mob of children attempting to tickle my feet, little devils they were! as I sprinted to get my boots and make a run for it - but they knocked me down and ran off with my boots. it's all fun in games for a while, but then....then it gets maddening.

but back to the snow. due to the tsunami in the Philippines a warm front came with downpour rain all day and then around 5pm it turned into a glorious cascade of flake after intricate flake of snow falling gently to the earth's floor.

I have been ready for this for weeks!!

well, I best be getting ready for bed. I will post beautiful pictures tomorrow!!

Much Love,
Rachel

Peace

My thoughts are racing, colliding and ricocheting around. I fumble for words to exit my mouth in fluid, understandable flow. Nothing. I might as well be mute. Water fills my eyes brimming. Release.

If I post this, my parents will call and text beckoning for peace of mind over my well-being and not rest until they are assured. So to them, keep reading.

I realized today, again that my job isn't easy. That the goal is a grueling up hill climb and victory may not be seen in my time with these kiddos. I cannot carry them or drag them along. I can't walk ahead and wait for them to catch up and most often they won't be waiting for me to catch up to them. Rather, we trudge side by side, hand in hand, finding our footing every day...sometimes every hour or minute of everyday. Always prepared for backslide.

I'm thankful though.

I'm thankful for my job. It challenges me to go out of my comfort zone, to push myself to persevere despite the battle, to find the small victories in the day (like today, I actually had a professional sounding conversation on the phone where I was confident).  

I'm not really sure how to end this. My first paragraph is the condition of my heart this evening but I'm happy and content at the very same time, I suppose this is called peace.

Much Love,
Rachel

Adjustment Bureau

With the time change this weekend everything is out of wack! My clock at work still says its an hour later than what it really should read, my internal alarm clock woke me up bright and early this morning at 5am (I actually leisurely got ready this morning - it was kinda nice.) The hardest part though was realizing that the sun at 6pm has already disappeared beyond the horizon beckoning me to my bed and then I realize....4 more hours.

So to keep myself awake I am crocheting a blanket, watching movies, spending time with family and friends.

I think Alaskan's live two life styles: one of insomnia in the summer and in the winter people hibernate.

Adjusting seems to be the key here, adjusting to the weather (seems to be a slow process this year....still no sign of winter other than all the mountains in the far distance have a lovely white blanket on them), adjusting to the amount of day light, adjusting to schedule changes and working for a business that actually promotes you take sick leave, so here I am in bed - trying to figure out how to relax and rest on a day that has a long list of things that need to get done.

Anyways, it's 7:20....I should try to get on with my day it seems. By the way: it's still pitch black out :)

Much Love,
Rachel

Great Outdoors

Over the hilltops and through the woods,
A moss fort building we a goes.
The kids know the way, to the big "moss cit-ay"
Through fallen timber and dirt which are froze.

Over the hilltops and through the woods,
Grab sticks and moss by the bunch
Lay it here and stack it there
The moose better not think this is lunch.

Over the hilltops and through the woods,
Look out for that big angry moose!
Quick, hide in our fort, don't make a retort
I wish that moose was a goose!

Much Love,
Rachel

Perseverance

Initially the word tunnel apparently didn't click in my head - I mean really, my mind was more set on "maze" - no covering, wide paths. I had it all wrong. The entrance was small, elementary version of me small, but in I went on my hands and knees, flashlight in the strongest death grip my phalanges could muster. I entered, two kiddos before me, none beside or behind me....(pause for an aside - reliving this adventure, is causing the claustrophobia to come back all over again and I currently am in the spacious living room)....straight ahead we went. I was lead left. Left was a dead end and that is when I panicked, internally of course because after all, I am the leader.... (another pause for insider information: did I mention it was pitch black? - I have severe fright of darkness - I mean there is no predictability in it, no way of knowing when something bad will come, which is why my plan is to back myself into a corner - but that's a whole other story)....so there I am in this small tube of stacked hay bales giving myself a mental pep talk. Corners were hard, especially if it was the wrong turn...turning around simply wasn't an easy task for me so it was decided that I could sit in the junctions and send off the rug rats to find the delightful exit. Soon they were so confident in their adventuring they pretty much left me in the dust; actually quite literally there were times I was hollering after them to wait for me. The barn guy, Noah, he was getting quite a chuckle from all my commentary. Some of my comments were along the lines of "you didn't make this with the mindset of Adults going through did you" to which he replied that a 6 month pregnant lady successfully made all the turns. I retorted that my hips are apparently wider than an expectant mother's (insert Lucas' cruel summer joke here: "you have hips that can bare Spartan babies") I heard a belly laugh in the abysmal darkness. After much winding and crawling and jabbing of hay ends, we found a set of stairs that had a covering over them, so this giant (I literally have never felt more gargantuan in my life) crawled up the stairs on her knees (I have the bruises to prove it). We crossed a bridge that I almost ate dirt on (and with my amazing coordination I assumed I would have managed to either fall through the bridge or ensnare my legs in the ropes, rendering myself helplessly upside down and in need of a hero.) Back into the tiny tunnel we go, there was one turn that was so tight I "slithered" through it on my side. We were reaching the end, I could taste it....well, actually, I was tasting the hay but I sent my troops out to scour the lands and alas!! I hear a "I found it guys!!! THIS WAY THIS WAY” I speed crawl down the tunnel to an opening of bright glowing daylight and a victory slide!! SUCCESS!!!! Survival!



and then I did it again. and again, but backwards. :)

Much Love,
Rachel

The cold, dark truth.

The title is a little misleading I suppose. I don't intend on disclosing my deepest secrets or anything, it refers more to the 10 hours of day light in which the sun doesn't peak much over the height of the tree line, so driving at noon causes the strobe light effect which in a nuisance. The air holds a crispness to it, that while it's sunny and what I would consider warm(ish) there is still a bite in the air that reminds me to grab a jacket and soon my mittens.

The mountains, are gorgeously blanketed in snow, the grass still clings to it's shades of green in desperation, the trees barren of their leaves (except for the evergreens)and when it's clear skies, the sun is shining....all of these sights create a spectacular view. My plan is to, this weekend, grab a lovely cup of delicious hot coffee and maybe splurge on a sugary treat and drive.

For now, here are some images of the autumn foliage.

I want to leave you all with some beautiful words a dear friend and someone I hold in high regards to said to me recently. "The weather is turning colder, leaves are becoming gold, and the beautiful flowers are bending under the weight of the frosty air. We are slowly adjusting to the fact that winter is making strides our way and there is nothing we can do to hold it back. I guess that's how life is. It just keeps coming. So, we run the race with it, not with false starts or hesitations, but with direction, boldness, and vigor. We have a reason for living, don't we. And I sense you are getting a feeling that you are just where God wants you to be."

Much Love,
Rachel

...

The wind has all but wiped away the leaves from the branches, rendering the trees a naked silhouette in the cold. These are the sirens warning of the coming snow, and the inevitable bite of Jack Frost.

I don't know why or where it comes from but sometimes I have the most incredible moments of flow where my words are poetic and dripping in imagery. I love those moments. I also love candles, and while growing up with mom always having candles around the house, I didn't truly appreciate them until living with Amy. Now it's rare for me to not have candles burning these days. Unfortunately, I am really picky on scents, most I don't find appealing. Thanks to Tanya and her wonderful sister Suzi, I did find a line of candles that I will probably forever buy from; PartyLite. Nothing like name dropping eh!

I find myself tonight in my room, blasting some rap crap as my dad would call it. I have a laundry list of to-do's:

-Laundry (gotta have clean clothes!!) Also, I am so excited and happy that Jeans and tennis shoes are my go to for work!!!! YAY.
-String white Christmas lights in my room to bring some light to this darkness. Not sure about the rest of the world but Alaska already has Christmas on its mind - it's not uncommon for me to pass by the secretary at work as she sings Christmas songs. :)
-Craft: I am starting to pick up knitting and crochet and let me tell ya, it's rather fun and kinda a thing to do when hanging out with most of the people I know here. I also have a birthday card to make for my boss and I haven't picked up my brushes in awhile.
-Application! not for a job but for training!! woohoo. I have to apply and write a paper explaining why I should be selected for scholarship funds. This will take place in December in Anchorage. I'm really excited about the opportunity to learn how to be a better leader and supervisor which is what this conference focuses on. It's 3 days and then afterwards there is a final project and teleconferences that are mandatory participation in the following weeks. The application deadline is Nov. 1.....

The happenings around camp seem to be focused on the hay tunnel at the barn, which I have yet to check out. But I will!

Hopefully, I can get some pictures taken for my next post.
Until then...Much Love.
Rachel

The week of Mondays

This week wasn't terrible but Friday sure didn't come fast enough. It started Monday morning. I didn't wake up early enough to shower so I washed my hair under the bathtub faucet. In the process of doing so I nearly gave myself a shiner, the bruise never developed (thank God because that would be embarrassing) but I did have a slight cut under my eye.

Work was a fiasco. Nothing went as planned and I was exposed to pink eye to boot. Thankfully nothing has progressed from that.

Speaking of my health, last week I had an ear infection  turn sinus infection turn horrible chest cough. So prayer for this to be over soon would be grand.

Falling into Winter

I'm not ready. I'm not ready for the snow. I'm not ready for the darkness. I'm not ready for the cold.

Luckily as of today, there has been no sight of the white powder in these parts, except for the distant mountains. Up North, however, they had 5 inches or so last weekend. What I get to enjoy for now is the golden array of the trees as they change color and end their time in one last dance, gliding and cutting through the air as the wind leads.

There really isn't fall in Montana, that I can remember, but maybe that's because I wasn't surrounded by the masses of trees stretching to the sky like in the Alaskan wilderness. It's really quite something.





For the last week and a half I have been living in Sterling (10 miles from Soldotna, house sitting for some friends that I have acquired through my Alaskan family. It's been so nice to leave the house 5 minutes before clocking in for work every morning. :) That will be something I will surely miss in the coming months as the days get darker, colder, snowier and icy; but for now, it's a real treat! Due do house sitting, I am currently the proud "owner" if you will of 3 ducks, 3 cats, 2 dogs and a rabbit. I am much more a dog person than a whole farm girl. Being by myself in the middle of nowhere is pretty lonely and scary when one is afraid of the dark. I mean, I love me some solitude but this constant?? NO THANK YOU!

I'm not sure of any new news to share with you - my job is changing a little. I will be doing the same thing, however, I will be splitting my time between two schools as my current case load at my "home base" is dismal and there are some schools needing 2 Care Coordinators because they have an abundance of clients needing services. I am happy to help wherever needed.


Stay warm friends and family.
Much Love. Rachel.

Scaredy Cat

I think I live in a state of constant fear, or maybe it's a state of constant anticipation of being scared.

People too easily have the advantage over me to frighten me and receive the pleasure of watching me jump, scream, and laugh from my foolishness until I cry.

This happened last night.

The power was out. Chad, Steph and I were sitting around the kitchen table, (our faces illuminated by a camping lantern) chatting when ratt tat tat on the front window. I jump...and probably scream - we all laugh when the neighbor Craig walks in. Through the window he saw me, we laughed harder. When he leaves I very wisely lock the sliding glass door behind me (anticipating his attempt to do it again, but from behind - at this point I'm smiling smugly, thinking I'm ahead in the game) but nope! The door didn't cooperate, Craig slid it open, I jumped and bellowed a great cry.

There is no winning for me.

Fire season

To most of my friends this title means summer is approaching, the heat is coming and the risk of forest fires will spoil some of the enjoyment of camping. But in Alaska, fire season is a time where, wood is chopped, split and stored until it is ready to be burned in the wood furnace.

Boil me up a cup of tea or my grandmas hot coco and soon ill be singing "baby its cold outside"

The reason for this post is that Fairbanks supposedly is under a winter storm watch.

This is where my "thick Montana winter skin" is tested.

Much Love -Rachel

What I would say, what I would do.

It is not my intention or my design to burden you with the details of every bad day my line of work presents, due to legal constraints but also a personal desire to hold myself in a posture of class.

In college there was a lot of stress [<- HA! (you will get the funny later :D)] on self-care. Self-care for those who may not know “refers to actions and attitudes which contribute to the maintenance of well-being and personal health” it’s really important for success at any job, but more specifically in jobs of high stress [did ya get it??] How do I leave it all at work and not bring it home with me? This is something that I was actually pretty nervous about, because ever since I can remember, my heart broke easily for those who are in need. Sometimes the sorrow I felt would bring me to tears, other times….I would be enraged. I won’t deny the pain I feel in my heart for my kiddos and the bitter anger at the situations they have witnessed and endured, but leaving it at work is almost easy. I think being saturated in it for a solid 8 hours at a time makes it easy to wipe my hands clean at 4pm and walk away to recharge to go at it again. It’s a blessing that it’s easy. I don’t feel guilty that it’s easy, but should I? On the days that the 15 minute drive home isn’t enough to find the calm after the storm – I do self-care. Self-care looks different day to day. Sometimes a hug from my favorite kiddos at home is just what the cardiologist calls for. Yesterday, it started with writing, and then it proceeded with a long walk plugged into my iPod and my camera taking note of the little things. Take a moment with me, to look at the intricate, and the beauty. Much Love, Rachel

nighty night

Sleep and I have always been at odds. Ever since I can remember I have always felt a sense of exhaustion lingering, beckoning me to take long naps at hours that only perpetuate the irregularity of my sleep patterns. I don't know what sleeping through the night looks like, because I always am finding myself checking the clock on my phone at least once during the night. I have tried the sleepy time tea - drinking 5 cups in one sitting and to no avail. I have tried Tylenol PM and other helpful sleeping aids - and nothing, actually if anything I am more awake. My iron levels and thyroid are cleared with a clean bill of health yet the desire to sleep presses on - until this weekend....

My friend Stephanie introduced me to essential oils about a year ago and after telling her about my fatigue she did some research and had me try some snake poison as some of our friends call it here. She briefed me on a potential blockage in my adrenal glands and instructed me to rub Clove and Rosemary over my kidneys and adrenal glands and what do ya know - I woke up the next morning feeling awake, with mental clarity, ready to take on the day.

I have also, begun drinking a gallon of water a day to help flush out the toxicity in my body. And while I still feel tired I have actually had the energy to do things other than give into the desire to slump into a heap on the couch, bed, floor - wherever and pass out.

Anyways, just thought this was rather cool and wanted to share. If you are interested in essential oils email me at rachel.rehbein@gmail.com or call me - I would love to share with you my experiences. :)

Much Love,
Rachel

Rule #31

Soldotna to Homer, AK is 75 miles, taking you over an hour to travel at 55mph, or if you are like this Montana girl, you push 60 and then catch yourself at 75. Rehbein lead-foot syndrome??

I hit the road at noon to meet my friend LeAnna in Homer, a little tourist fishing town centering around the spit.

Along the way to and from there were a few obscure sights that I just had to pull over and capture. So, please enjoy.

Oh - and Rule #31 yea....it's legitimate to check your back seat....SKETCH!!

Much Love,
Rachel